Maybe it’s because of the type of people I watch or let myself be around but I see a lot of people fake concerned about someone’s health. They think that, because they themselves are not overweight and the person they are speaking to are or even if the person is just bigger than they are (over the internet or not), they are validated to put forth their opinion on said persons’ weight.
No. You are not.
And let me tell you why. You are not giving people “tough love”. I believe, and have always believed, “tough love” is an excuse to be an asshole and given the blanket label of caring and love so that they can get away with it. It doesn’t even mean what they are saying is untrue, because that’s not always the case, but to say it’s done out of a place of kindness I think is a lie. Especially when you don’t know that person outside of their persona and you have no idea what method of help would work for them (and 9 cases out of ten, they didn’t ask for your help or want it).
You are not doing anything for the “greater good”. What “greater good” would that be, exactly? There have been countless outlets on media such as articles and videos I can use as proof that being harsh towards people who are overweight or obese (or even just chubby) has caused more harm than good and have actually done the opposite of what I assume you’re aiming for and they have gained weight. Some develop eating disorders and other mental illnesses because of this treatment of fat people (and I weigh 200 pounds at 5’6, if I want to call myself fat I will).
When are you going to admit to yourself that what you have is not anything more than fatphobia.
If you really cared about the nutrition and health of people, let me see your gym membership. Let me see your daily jogging routine. Let me see your healthy meal plan. Let me see your blog or your channel promoting a healthy lifestyle. Oh? It doesn’t exist? That’s because your intentions are not anything other than to shame fat people for being fat.
Your weight is not a concrete measurement of your health.
What I mean by this is that someone half my weight could have a lot of health problems caused by their eating habits and I could have none at all and not even be at risk of developing health problems. Although the most important thing to get from this is that someone elses health is NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS anyway. Especially when they are a stranger on the internet, in the street, at your school, at your workplace, etc.
In the case of myself, I have never been smaller than a size UK 12-14 since I was a young teenager and I have always been bullied for my weight from even my own family. Did this make me healthier? No. Did this make my mindset any better? No. Did this educate me on nutrition? No. Did this help me make better choices? No. Was I already aware of my weight? Yes. Was I already aware of the damage that can be caused by eating unhealthy foods? Yes. Did I need other people to tell me that? No. Did any of the people who felt this uncontrollable desire make any effort to help me? No.
Do you know what it did do? I went from a UK size 12-14 on average to a size 20-22 throughout my teenage years. I developed depression. My already severe anxiety grew worse. I grew incredibly self-conscious (and, thanks to body positive media outlets, that’s not so bad anymore). You call that helping?
Although I am well aware I am coming across as passive aggressive and unable to let my life experience go, I don’t hate my body anymore. I’ve learnt to understand that a lot of these kinds of people are a bully. They do not treat fat people like people. They think they’re coming from a good place when really they won’t admit to themselves that they are fatphobic.
Sometimes, tough love works. I won’t deny that. Sometimes, someone needs someone else to be harsh to them in order to make a positive change in their lifestyle. That is NOT up to someone on the Internet to decide to give to a person they don’t even know. That is NOT up to a friend. That is NOT up to family members when they aren’t even close to you and do nothing to help your wellbeing.
It is also especially not your right to tell body positive activists that they are “promoting an unhealthy lifestyle” just because they are saying to love the body they are in. When you attack someone the way a fatphobic does, and they have no positive source to turn to that makes them feel good about themselves, you think this is going to do anything but turn people away from wanting to look after themselves and their bodies and knowing they are worth it?
It’s definitely not in your right to tell someone who uses social media and is a fat or a chubby person that they are “promoting an unhealthy lifestyle” simply because they exist and they post photos of themselves on social media and they talk about their experiences.
I’m sure when you follow all those cheesy Twitter accounts and unhealthy food Facebook pages (like glazed burger doughnuts, what the hell), nobody ever accuses you of “promoting an unhealthy lifestyle” or gives you a rundown of the nutritional content/tells you what that will do to your body, I’m sure you see nothing wrong with you being indulgent but seeing someone else who isn’t your ideal body weight do the same thing is suddenly the opposite of okay. You have no right to tell people what they can and can’t consume, no matter what their weight is, especially when doing so you are being a massive hypocrite.
(I am also going to take the hypocrite in to account when I say that being “thick” is now an aesthetic body trend so when you have a flat stomach but big boobs, big butt and big thighs you are rarely going to be shamed for your size because this is a sexualised body type people want, and I highly doubt women get to look like this from eating salads. I throw no ‘shade’ towards women with this body type, I’m completely throwing shade at the people who praise this body type but shame women and men who in their eyes don’t ‘look as good’ but eat the same diet and have the same exercise routine if there is one)
How about instead of saying “Hey, when you’re full, stop eating, it’s a life tip” (yes, that is an actual real life comment I’m using) or “Wow you’re going to give yourself a stroke if you keep eating that”, say “I really like your shirt, where did you get it?!” or in a none passive aggressive or mean way suggest an alternative if and ONLY IF that person is welcoming to advice on their eating habits.
With that ‘little’ rant over, I say in the nicest way I can muster right now, my body and my choice. Admit to yourself you are fatphobic and do not care about the physical and mental health of other people. Take your opinion and fuck off.