Books, Feminism

NYNTLS: Excerpt of my F/F Short Story/Retelling

Hello!

So, as I spoke about in Friday’s post, I have joined July’s Camp NaNoWriMo. If you don’t know what Camp NaNoWriMo is, it’s an event hosted online two/three times a year (April, July and November) where you write a novel, poetry book, short story, or play in just one month. I’ve tried to join before, but I’ve never really been much good at it. I have been assigned a cabin this time but most of them speak different languages, languages I can not speak. Welp!

What I have chosen to do is to take two characters from my WIP, Belle and Elsa, and write a love story revolving around them. Belle is autistic, and they both suffer from anxiety. So far, I’m really enjoying what I’ve done. I think I have got Belle’s character down well, even though she’s a bit sassier than she was in both movies, but I’m having difficulty portraying Elsa. I see her as someone strong and sassy, but also extremely nervous. So far, I’m pegging the latter but not so much the former. Character development isn’t easy to do in short stories, but I’m going to try.

 

I present to you a scene from just after Belle met Elsa in a milkshake shop for the first time. It’s not too awesome, I haven’t written anything in a while and this is my first attempt at finishing a story, so…please be nice! Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Excerpt:

“You like her?” Emily said, before my butt even touched the seat. I scanned her face for any signs of nastiness but she seemed to be genuinely curious. 

I shrugged “Well, she’s pretty, but it’s not like we had a meaningful interaction”

“She’s new around here” Aaron said “I mean, new in the milkshake shop. I come here so often, I spend half my paycheck a week just on these things. I’ve never seen her before. I would have remembered.”

“Remembered why?” I asked, hopefully innocently. Sure, I could see something special about her, but that didn’t mean everyone else could. 

“The hair, I think” he shrugged. “I know shimmery silver hair was in style at one point, but was blond-white ever a thing? She looks like what snow would look like…if it were human, that is”

I nodded in agreement. That’s exactly what she looked like. Emily was cutely slurping up her drink, and I was trying not to get annoyed at the noise. 

“This is good!” Emily said, after she had downed half of it. “I’ve never come here before.”

“You haven’t?” Aaron looked like she had just admitted to killing his firstborn. “This is, like, the best place in town. Forget Starbucks. This is where it’s at.”

“This is so much better than Starbucks. Does Starbucks even do milkshakes?”

I shrugged at the same time as Aaron. I can’t say I’ve ever been able to afford to go. I don’t even remember having one in town. 

“I like their hot chocolate, though” Aaron smiled at the thought. “Every winter, buying an overpriced hot coco and sitting in a coffee shop is bliss. Ooh, I can’t wait for Winter to come”

 

I hope what I’ve written so far isn’t too awful. I haven’t written in a really long time. I’ve done almost no practise but, saying that, I do really enjoy where this is going. It needs quite a lot of editing which I keep putting off, because who wants to do editing really?

Until next time,
Lorna

 

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