They/Them/Their by Eris Young

they them their


A guide to nonbinary and genderqueer identities


I recieved this from NetGalley in exchange for a review, but all opinions are as always my own.

So…wow. Where to begin on this one? I guess first of all I’d say that this was deeply informative. I, myself, am non-binary and it made me think about some of the things of my own gender. It made me feel comforted, somewhat, that other people also don’t feel dysphoria sometimes and all of these transgender feels that I could strongly relate to and it really made me feel better in myself and more comfortable. So, from that perspective, that was awesome. It mostly covers non-binary, genderqueer and genderfluid identities but it does also touch on binary transgender identites and sexualities.

It doesn’t just talk about the Western way of gender, either. Although it is very clearly written by a white person, it does include some other cultures and religions that use different, less binary languages and have more than just the two legal genders the way the UK does (which is where a majority of this book is based, specifically Scotland, and it also touches on the US as well).

I would absolutely reccomend this to other people and, despite having a copy of this on my Kindle, I would probably buy a physical copy when it’s published for note taking and to reference as well as to give to family members and friends who want to learn more about the identities as they are becoming more well known then they were. It’s full of resources for people wanting to learn about the trans identities, but also for trans people as well – including for mental health resources specifically for trans people, which I’ve been looking for and I’m sure I’ll find them useful.

It did have its bad parts, though. For example, there were trigger warnings but there were very few. I feel like every chapter and every sub-chapter should contain trigger warnings, especially since trans people are absolutely going to read this (hello!) and the author knows that trans people often go through triggering events in their life, as it’s referenced in the book. It’s also very dense and can be difficult to read if you don’t enjoy reading essays and textbooks, which is very much the format style this is written in. Being academic, and autistic, probably helped my enjoyment there but I know a lot of people who would struggle to get through this.

Overall, it was enjoyable and I’m glad I got through this even though it was super difficult to read at times. I’d reccomend it especially to people wanting to learn about transgender people, and specifically non-binary genders.



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