A Short Break

Hello, again.

I’m sure my absence wasn’t really noticed but, for reference when I look back at my posts and see a gap, I just wanted to address that I’m taking a short break from writing on my blog. I’m also hoping that writing about it might help give me a little push.

As many of you know, I suffer from depression and anxiety. Recently, it’s reached a point where I’m just not focusing. I’m not doing anything, I’m just in my room all day most of the time ignoring everyone. I don’t want to eat, and I don’t have the energy to make food anyway. There’s a big hole in my chest, a very painful hole, that is making everything extremely difficult right now. I’m dissociated and numb so this isn’t emotionally difficult to write but it is physically difficult. I have no interest in things that I used to enjoy. I’m not reading very much at all, anymore. Things are just hard right now.

It doesn’t help that I don’t have many friends. There’s not really anyone I feel like I can talk to, or anyone I can spend time with and actually feel relaxed afterwards instead of drained of energy. I’ve been trying to throw myself into things that people tell me will help but it just makes me feel worse when it doesn’t work.

I’ll probably come back once I can actually finish books again, or maybe to talk about mental health, I don’t know. Until then, bye bye!


October Reading Wrap-Up!

Okay, so I sort of failed this month. Horribly, in fact. I didn’t complete any of the challenges I set myself and now I’m in a reading slump and behind on all my Arcs! I suppose, though, that I’ve done well reading for the rest of the year but my reading abilities have dwindled now. It’s just that time of year. Anyway, here is what I did manage to complete this month and I hope you did a lot better than I did.

This is Going to Hurt
Adam Kay

I did really enjoy this and I think it’s an important book, but it included so many problematic elements that I ended up docking it from four stars to five stars. I think, if you want a book to learn about how difficult being a doctor/nurse is and how important the NHS is, LANGUAGE OF KINDNESS is a much better option to go for.

Sawkill Girls
Claire Legrand

This is by far one of the best paranormal horrors I’ve read in a while. It did get a little tropey, especially near the end. It still felt like it had an original twist to it, and I’d be really interested in what else this author has written.

The Colorado Kid
Stephen King

This was short and great! It had a really old fashioned feel to it, and it was like being told a story. It didn’t really have a conclusion, so if you want a mystery where you can get a conclusion this probably isn’t for you.

Dead Popular
Sue Wallman

This was just…okay? It had good promise and I thought it was going to be like an interesting Pretty Little Liars sort of thing. It very nearly reached that mark but, in the end, never really got there. It was just ok and I can’t say I enjoyed it very much. You shouldn’t be bored reading a thriller.

Down Among the Sticks and Bones
Seanan McGuire

This is the second book in this series, and I actually might have liked this one even more than the first one. I really liked Jack and Jill from the first book, so I really enjoyed hearing more about their backstory. Listening to it in an audiobook was also a good idea.

The Prison Doctor
Dr Amanda Brown

I enjoyed this one a lot more than a doctor book I read earlier on in the month. The doctor, Amanda Brown, was so kind and lovely. I’m not sure I really agree with her that even the child molesters should be treated kindly, but everyone else there did. I think everyone should be reading this, because society as a whole looks down on those that use drugs and steal, etc. There’s always a reason behind it and they’re still human.

Virginia Andrews

I’m actually still in the middle of reading this one, but I did start this in the middle of October and I just haven’t got around to finishing it yet. I am really enjoying it, though, so I know I will eventually get around to finishing it as I don’t want to DNF this just yet.

Mary Shelley

It took me long enough to get around to reading this, I know. It was a perfect Halloween read, though. I did enjoy it, but some of the language used was a bit difficult and hard to understand. I expected that, though, and it’s why I don’t read a lot of classics because it makes them harder to enjoy.

The Other Wife
Claire McGowan

This was, actually, really good. I liked that it put the man at fault for his own actions rather than on the women. You could see real character development going on throughout the book. It was really interesting, and I really enjoyed it. I received this as a free copy on NetGalley in exchange for a review.

A Good Girls Guide to Murder
Holly Jackson

This was far more developed than I’m used to YA thrillers being. Not that I think young adult thrillers are bad, or I would never read them, but that it was just so complex and advanced. Long story short, I adored it.

Three Hours
Rosamund Lipton

This was quite dark, as it was about being trapped inside a school during a school shooting and how even the most ordinary of teenage boys can become a killer. I also loved how it focused on the racism, especially against Muslims/refugees, that happen as soon as a shooting happens. They are the first suspects, even though they are usually the victims of these crimes. Extremely good, and absolutely terrifying. I received this as a free copy from Netgalley in exchange for a review.

What Makes Us
Rafi Mittlefehldt

This one was a DNF as it just wasn’t for me. It was pretty heavy on the subject, and it seemed like all the characters and the story was made just so the story subject could be told so I think this would be better as a non fiction book. It didn’t work the way it was in my opinion. I received this as a free copy from NetGalley in exchange for a review.


So, that was my absolute failure of a reading month! I’m hoping November will be better (although, spoiler alert, so far it’s worse).

Any tips on how to get out of a reading slump will really be appreciated.

Until next time,


BoJack Horseman Book Tag! // Original

bojack horseman

So, to celebrate the release of the new series of BoJack Horseman, I wanted to do a book tag related to the show but I couldn’t find any so I guess I’m going to create my own! I don’t think it’ll be good enough for other people want to do but, if you do, remember to tag me so I can read your responses to the questions!


BoJack Horseman: Name a Book You Loved With an Unlikeable Main Character

I really enjoyed The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness. I like that it put the focus on the peers of the Chosen One and what its like to watch it from the outside without having any insider information, which I thought was unique and interesting, and I love love love Patrick Ness…but oh my god, the main character was annoying. Maybe it’s because he’s a lot like me and I annoy myself.


Diane Nguyen: A Character You Feel is Misunderstood

I don’t know if this is a popular or unpopular opinion, but I think Tori Spring from Solitaire/Heartstopper Volumes One and Two by Alice Oseman is SUPER misunderstood. A lot of people didn’t like her and thought she was too cynical and pessimistic, but I think she was just…you know, sad. I enjoyed reading about someone who thinks the way I do and depression is different in everyone, and she absolutely deserved more love than she received.

mr peanutbutter

Mr. Peanutbutter: Name a Book You Just LOVE

I have a feeling a lot of people would pick the same answer, or Harry Potter, but The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It’s just a masterpiece that I don’t want to see turned into a movie, because it wouldn’t achieve anything close to the spectacular standards this book set itself. It’s just amazing how it managed to appeal to such a wide variety of people from all walks of lives with such a different set of tastes. Absolutely a classic.


Todd Chavez: Name Your Favourite Book Featuring an Asexual Character

I have two answers for this one! The first one is Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire. If you have the ability to, I really recommend reading this on an audiobook because it feels and sounds like a fairytale. It’s so fun and adventurous. My second answer is Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand, especially since the asexuality came as a complete shock to me, as nobody told me it would be in there and it was a wonderful surprise.


Princess Carolyn: Name a Fiercely Determined Character

Ooh, I think Denise from On the Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis. I love how she fought so hard to get what she needed and wanted. She didn’t just fight for herself, either, she did a lot of it for her mother and sister. She’s one of my favourite characters in any book, ever. She’s just so kind and brave and a lot like Princess Carolyn, but a little less manipulative and sometimes quite mean. Sorry, Princess Carolyn, I love you anyway!

sarah lynn

Sarah Lynn: What’s a Book That Really Took You on a Journey?

Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman which, for some reason, took me such a long time to read even though my school library had the entire series in their stock. I always passed them wanting to read them, but I never got around to it. I somehow managed to avoid any spoilers, and wow what a ride that was.


Wanda Pierce: What’s Your Favourite Historical Fiction Book?

Historical fiction really isn’t my favourite genre, but occasionally I do find a book among the genre that makes me keep on reading it. I can’t choose Evelyn Hugo again (well, I could, but that would be boring) so I’ll pick a different one! Although it’s by the same author, I did really enjoy Daisy Jones and the Six and it introduced me into the world of older rock bands and how could I not love a book that introduced music into my life?


I really hope you like it. I’m not a very creative person and I’m not very good at doing things, so I’m not going to be offended if nobody wants to do the tag, and I’m sorry to any other BoJack Horseman lovers who already created a book tag for this and I just couldn’t find it! Let me know if there are any.

Until next time,


The Story of my First Tattoo

I got my first tattoo on the 25th September, so it was a month ago a few days ago. I’ve been meaning to write a blog post on it since I got it. I just kept procrastinating it, I guess? It’s a tattoo I had been planning for years, and I’m not sure why it took me so long to get it done! I guess I was afraid, but it really wasn’t that bad.

So, because I don’t want my location to be told to my followers, I won’t tell you what studio I got it done unless we’re friends/we’ve spoken before! I will tell you, though, that it was done by an apprentice so it was done at £30 which is pretty good. If it was a tattoo artist that wasn’t learning, it would have been closer to £50. It only took about fifteen/twenty minutes, tops.

The actual design is my cats paw print. Because I get asked this all the time, I used this kit from Amazon to get a print of my cats paw safely. If you don’t want to buy from Amazon, the kit is called the Bella Beso Dog and Cat Pet Paw Print Inkless Sheets. You use a wipe from the kit to rub on their paw, and then you press it down on the sheet for up to sixty seconds. It would be better to do this on a cat while they’re asleep but Tess kept waking up, and she did not like it and I wasn’t going to force her to keep her paw pressed down. So, the final results were this:

I then sent them to the tattoo artist who would be able to develop a final design from that, and he came up with the one tattooed on my wrist. I absolutely love it.

The healing process wasn’t very fun, but this I expected. Basically, a needle is going in and out of your skin so any healing process wouldn’t be fun. The aftercare was just washing it with antibacterial soap three times a day, which I did pretty much everytime I washed my hands. Then, after I shower, I used coconut butter on it to keep it moisturized. I also used a baby rash cream to keep reactions and redness down. The itching stage was pretty horrible, as well. This is basically what it looked like during that part:

And now, I want to do it all again! I already have so many tattoo designs in mind. At the moment, I’m in the saving up stage of the process and I also really want to find a decent tattoo artist as for personal reasons I don’t want to go back to the place I was in before. I just want to try different places until I find somewhere I’m 100% comfortable and happy with.

This is what the tattoo looks like just after I got it done and now:

So, would I recommend getting a tattoo? Yes, yes, yes! If you have tattoos yourself, please show them to me, I love seeing tattoos.

Until next time,


Netflix Horror #4 – Eli


Movie Summary

Eli suffers from a chronic illness meaning he is allergic to the outside world. This can cause him severe hives where he can even stop breathing. When he is taken to a sanctuary to receive treatment for his sickness, he learns that he isn’t as safe as he once thought.


  • Charlie Shotwell as Eli
  • Kelly Reilly as Rose
  • Max Martini as Paul
  • Lili Taylor as Dr Horn
  • Sadie Sink as Haley
  • Deneen Tyler as Nurse Barbara
  • Katie Gomez as Nurse Maricela

What I Thought

It has an awful lot of jumpscares, which are pretty predictable and standard. That doesn’t mean it didn’t scare me because it absolutely did. Especially since it had this unknown mystery going on in the back that we know is really sinister but you could still make a guess at what happened, as that wasn’t as difficult to figure out as the movie clearly thought it would be.

Because I have medical anxiety, that is probably what made this experience much scarier than it probably is to everyone else as a majority of the movie happens in a medical facility where it’s just him, his parents and the nurses/doctors. He is forced to go through painful procedures that often trigger these allergic reactions. There is a lot of needles, medical suits, nobody communicating clearly what is happening, nobody helping you with your uncomfortable experiences, etc.

You can really tell, especially with the jump scares, that this was made by the same people who made The Haunting of Hill House but nowhere near as good. I absolutely adore that series (and really need to rewatch it).

Also, pretty ableist? As I know so many people, including the person I’m dating, who suffer with daily allergic reactions to the world around them and I felt like this dealt with that subject in a really insensitive and disrespectful way.

The movie kept withholding information which made this a lot more confusing than anything else. Even after the movie is over, I’m still pretty confused by what actually happened and I’m open to having a discussion with anyone who has watched the movie. I’d like to hear some opinions on what others thought about this.

Until next time,


Netflix Horror #3 – The Grudge 2

the grudge.jpg

I just want to start off by saying, as I do in every one of these posts, that I don’t want horror movies to be frightening. I don’t believe horror movies have to be scary in order to entertain you. The story and the plot can be interesting without you cowering behind a chair, but I also prefer horror that’s paranormal over gory – I’m probably quite unpopular in the horror movie community, but I feel like I should put down that disclaimer anyway.

Also, another disclaimer, this isn’t made by Netflix, this is just available on (UK) Netflix! Unlike the other two in this series that I’ve reviewed so far, which has been Marianne and Into the Tall Grass – I am watching another horror series made by Netflix currently though, so I’ll write a review on that when I finally finish it.

So! Cast:

  • Sarah Michelle Gellar as Karen (also seen in The Big Bang Theory, Star Wars Rebels, Princess Rap Battles, American Dad, The Simpsons, All My Children, Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, etc)
  • Amber Tamblyn as Aubrey (also seen in Two and a Half Men, 127 Hours, The Ring, etc)
  • Arielle Kebbel as Allison  (as seen in Fifty Shades Freed, The Vampire Diaries, 90210, Vampires Suck, The Uninvited, etc)
  • Takako Fuji as Kayako (as seen in all three Grudge Movies, Princess Mononoke, etc)
  • Edison Chen as Eason (as seen in Internal Affairs, The Dark Knight, etc)
  • Sarah Roemer as Lacey (as seen in Hachi: A Dog’s Tale, Daybreak, etc)
  • Matthew Knight as Jake (as seen in The Grudge 2 and Cheaper by the Dozen, etc)
  • Misako Uno as Miyuki (as seen in The Grudge)
  • Teresa Palmer as Vanessa (as seen in Lights Out, I Am Number Four, Warm Bodies, Hacksaw Ridge, etc)

What I Thought

To begin with, I thought the acting was pretty terrible, I’ll be honest. But, as the movie went on, I really enjoyed the plot. It was intense, and on occasion pretty scary. I thought the original Grudge movie was boring, to be honest, and this was just miles better. Pretty far from perfect, and I’ll admit this was more just enjoyment of a trashy movie and it’ll be in the trashy movie pile.

The movie begins in Japan with two pretty typical teenage girls, who are very popular and take this shy and unpopular girl under their wing. They tell her how to wear her clothes and then, as a sort of introduction to becoming part of their friendship group, they take her to the now abandoned house where the first Grudge movie took place. It’s now the most haunted building in Japan, where they get terrified out of their wits and they waken up the ghosts.

Back in Pasadena, Mrs Davis sends her daughter to Japan to bring her sister Karen back home after she was sent to hospital from surviving a fire. After their meeting, Karen dies and during Aubery’s investigations into what happened, she finds herself stuck in the same situation. She’s being chased by the ghost of the house.

The bad acting was apparent in the whole movie, and it kind of nearly ruined the whole thing, but it’s mostly only obvious during the scene with the three teenage girls. The bad acting might be due to the language barriers of the different locations, and the different directors working on the movie, as I’ve seen this actors in different roles and they weren’t anywhere near as awful. The acting does improve during the jumpscare moments. So, at the actual horror and suspense moments, they were pretty good.

If you’re looking for something a little different to the first movie, though, you may be disappointed as it has a very repetitive and similar plot line but if you had high expectations for the first movie and just didn’t enjoy it very much then you might enjoy this one a lot more, as I did.

Sequels for horror movies rarely do well, though, because a lot of it relies on having a lack of expectation and knowledge to what is about to happen which is difficult to do and sometime impossible for sequels.

Sorry that this was such a badly written review. I haven’t written in a while, I’ve been kind of in a book slump and I’m just mentally not doing that great. I haven’t been sleeping very well, either (all the horror movies and thrillers probably aren’t helping either). So, my brain isn’t on its top form. Again, sorry about that!

I also watched this movie a while ago so it’s relying on a movie that I don’t know very well anymore!

Until next time,



#ActuallyAutistic Mental Health Awareness

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TRIGGER WARNINGS!: suicide, self harm, graphic descriptions, mental health, descriptions of personal struggles

This is an…extremely late post considering mental health awareness day was such a long time ago now, but I still wanted to write a blog post raising awareness about the mental health struggles specifically autistic people struggle with and, although when it usually comes to autism I’m not okay with awareness as I am with acceptance, awareness does need to be spread when it comes to our mental health.

Causes of Poor Mental Health

Autistic people, those with learning disabilties or both are more likely to experiance mental health problems than the general population. There is some more information on the MIND website here, which agrees with me that the main reasons for this is a lack of available resources, we’re much more vunerable to abuse especially by parental figures and others with authority, a lack of support for basic coping skills, a lack of resources to make the world more accessible, difficulty getting a job or keeping a job, difficulties keeping and maintaining friendships and other relationships, stigma both online and offline, discrimination especially from services and in the workplace as well as biology and genetics (which is true for anyone, you’d be more like to experiance mental health problems if others in your family have or do).

I think a lot of enviromental factors contribute to our poor mental health, as well. For example, there is a link between being autistic and being homeless which was published in an article by The Big Issue. Because of a variety of reasons such as being vunerable, more likely to be abused, and difficulting getting and maintaining a job, autistic people are more likely to be homeless than the average population. Of course, when an autistic person becomes homeless, this means that it is even harder to access support than it was before.

There is also the big problem that a large group of people don’t understand autism and don’t try to, making the world even more difficult for us to live in. It’s inaccesible, and we aren’t listened to or given the care that we need. We are often misunderstood, judged and excluded. We are often spoken over, especially by those that are meant to help us – parents, support workers, doctors, ‘activists’, etc. They are often spreading misinformation, even if they think they mean well, which only harms us more.

Something that I have not read in any studies directly but I feel like is a contributing factor myself is that we live in a world where abuse against autistics is normal. That means outsiders won’t even see it as abuse so we’ll be suffering in clear view of the world but everyone is just smiling at it. Alongside that, the anti-vax movement means that people would rather their child is dead than be autistic. Hearing that on a nearly daily basis will of course take an emotional and mental toll.


The NHS website states that autistic people are dying younger than the general population. A study in Sweden showed that the average age of death for an autistic person is 54. The average age of death for others is around 70 years old. So, that means we could die on average 16 years younger than our peers. One of the leading causes of death in autistic people is suicide. We are NINE TIMES more likely to die by suicide than the average population. This was done in a case control study involving the records of 12, 122 people diagnosed with autism and compared it to non-autistic people. The actual results could be even higher, as there are so many autistic people undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with something else.

There is even more research done by the NCBI. 

72% of autistic people involved in the study were above the reccommended psychiatric cut-off for the suicide risk on the SBQ-R. This is significantly higher than the general population, which only scored 33%.

Suicidal behaviours and thoughts are increased in autistic adults than non-autistic adults. A sample was done on 374 autistic people, 66% had contemplated suicide, whereas the general population scored 17%. Patients with psychosis scored 59%.

35% of autistic people in the study had planned or attempted suicide, but non-autistic people scored between 2.5% and 10%.

There are also some statistics from the National Autistic Society (although I can’t say I support them entirely as a group). Roughly 40% of diagnosed autistic people have had experiance with an anxiety disorder but the general population had a percentage of 15%. Anxiety can also lead on to other mental illnesses, like depression.

OCD occurs in 2-3% of the non-autistic population and is much more common in the autistic population, although the website did not give a percentage for comparison.

How Can We Help Autistic People?

This section includes some of my own opinions as well as responses I recieved from asking this question Twitter (@autiedragon):

TW Suicide and Self Harm

If you are able to answer this question, and you have been/are suicidal and/or self harm, what do you think could be provided to help you?

  • “Psychs and therapists that at the very least acknowledge that autistic brains work differently from allistic ones, and we are not being uncooperative when their usual tools aren’t working for us as I was talking about in a thread the other day as well, I wish more focused on reducing the number and severity of self harm episodes rather than always eliminating it for good within a few months of seeing them, (especially) when (people) like me have done it since very young. I get that they won’t actively encourage you to do it, but the vibe you get that progress is nil if you relapse is not helpful. It would be better for them to acknowledge e.g for me litle and often actually reduces my overall harm, but I get why they’re wary to do so. I also wish they’d take you seriously when you say you’re planning or very close to doing something instead of waiting until you do. We fantasise a lot about things and know the difference between that and planning stage but I’ve heard “but you didn’t actually do it, so”” –  Evander V @soul_into_hades


  • “A lot of the self harm happens through the stress of masking, for me, or dealing with people who cause me problems that an allistic person wouldn’t have, which traps me in a position of meltdown/no response” – @chesneycat


  • “Acceptance, allll of the acceptance. Some NT’s think that because what they see of autism is behavioural that it can be controlled if you just try hard enough. And if you aren’t controlling it then you should try harder. Well (fu*k) that! Accept autistic people for who they are.” – @aut_cheerful


  • “Not being constantly abused” – Anonymous


  • “Someone I can talk to who I feel comfortable with. I have had friends in the past like this, but sadly no longer, but I have always found just knowing I had a friend I could turn to, really very helpful. These behaviours kick in for me when I feel very lonely and in pain” – Hannah, @QH_0000


  • “That’s a good question, I actually can’t think of anything other than stop forcing me into things that are harmful to me. But that’s really, really needed. I started self harming around the same time I started preschool and before that I had a type of nanny who only took care of me because of reasons. And now I self harm (and) have suicidal ideation almost every time I get upset (daily). In all honesty, the only thing that has helped so far is medication, therapy has only been neutral – making things worse. For me I really think we need to make it okay on a societal level to have different needs and that disability isn’t something to (be) fixed” – Asy, @photon_barrier


  • “I don’t fuction without 3 antidepressants a day. Even if you’ve never been suicidal before your anxiety can get so bad you’ll get panic atacks daily that could be triggered by anything. And this point whether you wanted to live or not the pain is so unbeatable you instinctively try to end it in the quickest way possible. I’m in the EU so my meds are free or like £10 and I can get them almost anywhere. I don’t know about the US I’ve heard the fu*king du*basses even LOOK DOWN on mental illness meds. If there was a way to like insta knock myself out like a sesative I’d have done it instead I tried to kill myself thrice. I went to a doctor and told him everything and now I gotta take three meds a day and an emergency one in case of a panic attack. Didn’t fix me but I function” – Empress Catra, @ForceCatra


  • “AUTISTIC ADVOCACY. Not autism advocacy, but for suicidal autistics by autistics. If you’re being abused and controlled in all parts of your life and nobody is advocating for you from your side of the neurotype divide, it can go south quickly. Autistic twitter friends, for me. They helped me recognise my own struggles as real, valid, explanation and importantly worthy of accommodations and adjustments. And they gave me the confidence to switch my office light off and wear my ear defenders when I need to” – Alex Heighton, @aheighton83


  • “The best advice or idk acceptance? I ever got about SH was when I met nurses who acknowledged that it can be a coping mechanism and for some people prevention isn’t always possible, so they gave me a lot of advice surround safety as far as possible,  and regulating methods, to have health care profs that actually understood that sometimes abstaining from sh can lead to worse relapses was all the support I needed! And with regards to what would help with attitude towards suicidality and sh is people acknowledging that autism doesn’t necessarily imply deceased mental capacity, I’ve been infantilised so many times after attempts or episodes as if because I’m autistic I wasn’t sure what I was doing or I surely couldn’t have meant to hurt myself or that I wasn’t aware of how it can affect the people around me and how people will view me” – Ash, @hzlhrst


  • “What I needed was stability, financial, social, just not constantly being one mistake away from disaster” – Skye, @disabilisaur


  • “Time and space to process. Rather than forced to behave and process in ‘acceptable’ ways. Pushing and rushing never ends well.” – Alex, @AlexClarkes


  • “The times when I’ve thought about killing myself have usually been when I’ve felt isolated. Therapy and a healthy social life have effectively kept me from trying it so far.” – @Alternativestr8


  • “Never touch my hands without permission. And never ask me to make eye contact when I don’t want to. Those are my top two items. Like…I mean…whatever it is someone does to help, if they do these two things they shouldn’t? Their efforts won’t work” – Anonymous


  • “I used to do self harm, never been suicidal. Sadly I don’t know what could have helped me. I’m not even sure why I stopped. I either don’t remember or there was no particular reason. Wish I could have been more help. Not sure why I harmed, only theory I have is wanting to see the pain” – @vigdisdammyr


  • “Actually listening to what I need instead of what others think I need. That’s been very frustrating” – @artisatsea


  • “Just…talking with a peer. I only get to see my therapist like…once a month. So it would be nice” – @jennie_comeaux


  • “Access to decent blades (because when distressed I crack open shaving razors which is dangerous, fiddly and makes me more likely to rush when I get to the damage part) and above all decent medical professionals who can stitch me up. I wrote a thread on this once – I had a trained nurse who helped me to self injure safely. I really think it is important that those of us who are going to self injure no matter what are supported to minimise harm, so much focus goes into prevention but it’s not realistic” – @silverswansong


  • “Feeling misunderstood or invalidated by comments such as ‘you don’t look auistic’ These lead to memories of family covering up and invalidating abuse. I have people who understand and I still can’t stop my thoughts from spirraling sometimes due to linking thoughts and rumination. I feel like the only way forward is to make so many negative and traumatic situations into something that can help others and so that is why I created my twitter page and blog. I want to stop others from suffering. It does help to know I have some people who care but it doesn’t take away the pain I don’t have certain items that I would harm myself with around me anymore” – @DanielleS2019


What I hope you take away from this more than anything is how important this awareness is for us, and that the only people to care about our mental health is other autistic people and almost nobody with the power to make a positive difference to us such as professional help and medication.

Thank you for reading, and please don’t forget about the autistic people who have already lost their life to suicide.

Until next time,